Last Sunday was Sept. 11 and based on my biweekly schedule, I should have made a blog post. But I simply wasn't "feeling it."
You see most people think blogging is writing; it isn't.
To write a blog post, we have to "feel" what we're writing, not simply write. Some people write about what makes them proud, others about what makes them smile.
Even the best of writers know that when your heart isn't in it, it shows!
But when your heart is in it, IT FLOWS!
That truly is the difference with blogging and other types of writing, especially business writing, where I can take any topic, do research and come out with credible prose.
So, last Sunday, Sept. 11, I simply wasn't feeling the grief for all the fallen victims. All over the television and on social networking sites, like Facebook and Twitter, the American people were expressing their loss about the lives that were lost 10 years ago.
The reason I wasn't feeling the grief is simply that my "spirit" wasn't in the grief cycle anymore for those people who inhabited our world ten years ago. But this is not because I lack feeling or compassion.
You see I strongly believe that when we leave this earth we return to a state of beingness that is wholeness.
I truly believe that we go back to where we came from before we were "born" into the world.
You see I believe...and something inside me is telling me...that... we're not from here!
So, with this "knowingness" that "we're not from here," it is hard for me to work myself into a state of sadness about "beings" who have moved on to what I know to be a better state of "beingness."
You see, even when I go to funerals, even those of close family members, I do not get emotional. When I do, it is for the living, not for the dead!
The first dead body I saw up close and personal was my father's, Ivan Eleazor Vyfhuis.
I looked at that remnant of the man I knew, and I simply could not relate to "it." Yes. IT!
You see when my father was "alive," he was the most ALIVE person inhabiting the earth.
My father had a spirit that filled a room.
My father had a love that filled and embraced every Soul. He truly practiced "Agape" love!
I was the youngest of nine kids, so I never got to know the "man" as well as my older brothers and sisters.
But what I know "for sure" is that when my father was around there was a JOY of spirit among us all.
Ivan Eleazor Vyfhuis exuded love, and he was LOVE in action.
It was the same thing with my sister, Linda, who also coincidentally died in 2001, just a month and a day after September 11, on October 10.
My mother was a different story.
She exuded POWER.
All of my life when she lived on earth, and for the rest of my breathing days, my mother will be the most powerful figure I've ever met.
My mother was my world.
From the moment I took breath, Valda Eileen Vyfhuis was my everything.
I'm so grateful to God that I did not witness her demise, because I was not emotionally in the place where I am today and I know "FOR SURE," I would have lost it then and never would have returned from "nethernetherland."
Privileged as I was not to be at her side at the moment of her sudden death, I was fully composed when I saw her dead body.
Once again, the "body" that I saw, I could not relate to the "beingness" that was my "mother:" my power and light in and through the world!
And so it was with every close relative who has died.
So, when I go to funerals and I see people getting emotional...if I do, too, it is not because of the "body" lying there, but because I feel the pain for those left behind.
I hurt... because people who are alive are hurt!
I cry ... because people who are alive are crying!
I feel deep pain... because people who are alive are in deep pain!
There is so much pain in the world, it would consume me were I to begin to "feel" it whereever I go.
I sense troubled Souls a mile away. As a matter of fact, I think I attract them. {That's another story.}
Having this sensitivity ...this radar...for people and their pain keeps me humble.
It makes me want to retreat inside...where only peace dwells.
Lately, that's what I've been doing...retreating inside.
That's what I did on September 11.
I felt nothing of the grief being played out on television... because I simply didn't turn it on.
I stayed inside. I stayed in peace.
What I reflected on was "the spirit" of all those bodies that lived.
I thought about how those people must have moved through our world, sharing their gifts.
I'm sure that each person who died represented all the gifts and talents, dreams and aspirations combined of all of us remaining here on earth!
Yes, in those hundreds of bodies that departed the earth, we billions who remain were represented in some shape or form in the way those folks walked the earth.
There were people of every creed and color, every religion and belief, who died on September 11.
There were black people, white people and every other color and creed in between. There were Catholics and Muslims and Jews and atheists who died alike on September 11, 2001.
I thought of all of the dreams of those of us who remain.
I thought about all the careers we have on this earth.
I thought about all those dead "bodies" that represented the "beingness" of those Souls now departed.
Then, I thought about the Souls while they walked the earth.
I thought about the way we interacted with them, whether family, stranger, coworker and friend, whenever we encountered them.
I thought about whether we felt their pain and felt compassion for them, if we did. sense pain in their lives.
I thought about whether those who knew them when they lived were able to reach beyond their world...their comfort zone...on any given day to embrace them and let them know that they mattered...in their "beingness."
I thought about whether they knew they were loved....that they would be missed when they left the earth...because their spirit was such an important part of our world.
I thought about all they represented to us ...the opportunity they gave us to Love them while yet they LIVED!
I thought about all the missed opportunities we have each and every day with the people ...family, friends, strangers and coworkers...to let them know that they matter in our midst.
I thought about those things on September 11.
I'm still thinking about those things today.
I'm still going inside.
I've been inside as I went around looking at my world...
to see exactly WHO we are...in all this expression of
grief for people who passed away 10 years ago.
I see the actions of the Republican Congress.
I see the actions of the Tea Party.
I see the struggles of President Obama.
Then...I look at my loving family members...my beautiful friends...helpful strangers...
and...I feel HOPE.
I'm inside myself right now because that's where I go when I write.
But...
As soon as I'm done with this piece...
I know where I'm going...
I'm going outside...to embrace
the dogs...the people in my life...
the people I interact with daily...
to let them know...not guess...to let them ...
KNOW...WITHOUT a doubt...
that in MY world...they
matter.
I won't wait to witness their "body" to understand and appreciate their "beingness..." the gifts that they bring to me...
even while yet they live!
I'm going outside...and I will EMBRACE the world!
Namaste',
Che'
