Most people go through life believing that the tried and true way to happiness is to meet the man or woman of their dreams, "fall in love," get married, have kids and "live happily ever after."
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| Manipulation of Japan: Photo via Gorgeous Picture |
Despite not always achieving the "happily ever after," the majority, after they reach a certain age/stage in life, keep moving forward, striving for wherever and however they can achieve happiness.
This is good: it's reality! It's truth.
There is no perfect way to happiness. And, too, this is a state of mind and consciousness.
As Dr. Wayne Dyer tells it:
Staying aware of every moment that happens in our lives is a sane way to navigate our way around the many obstacles and challenges strewn in our path as we weave our path to finding happiness. By being conscious of our lives, as it happens, we can make choices in the moment, allowing us to stay in control of our responses and emotions. Staying in control, we achieve a certain level of peace...and yes...happiness.
Some people simply will test our ability to care about, much less love, another. Some personality types are some that we simply don't want to know or interact with in any way...on any level.
And it seems that every where we look: there are these people! If we truly don't care to grow beyond the status quo of relationships, interrelationships and interaction, then we can do as suggested in the graphic on right... *"Keep walking..." away from them.
Thing is...we'll have to keep walking...and walking and walking... only to have them show up in place after place after place.
Dare I suggest that there's another way to "love" folks we'd rather not know than to walk away from them? Can you believe me when I say that you also can learn to accept them easily and with equanimity? Stay with me.
It all starts with love and appreciation of self...yes... "self love" and "ego."
Here we go...In the beginning of time, there was YOU!ONCE UPON A TIME:
Photo: "Faerie Magazine." Follow on Facebook
From the time you became conscious of yourself as a separate entity
There was only YOU and the way YOU see the world and navigate your way through it.
Encapsulated in that body that grew from babyhood to adulthood is the history...of all the steps and missteps...
And most importantly, the consciousness, that led you to today.
No person. NO PERSON. No matter how much you may believe he/she is a soul mate and/or your "best friend" can ever KNOW you as thoroughly as you KNOW YOURSELF!
Remember this: it's the foundation for loving others.
So, we begin with the awareness and consciousness of self with its concomitant history of all that is, was... used to be...and will be.
We begin to know that whereas... others may see us showing up today, as the person we are today...
we know...like no one else...the history, the pain, the shame, the disappointments, the failures, the successes and everything...that represents the being showing up in the fullness of our self!
If we've not dealt with issues as appropriately as we should, some situations will still move us to anger, tears and fear.
If we've not dealt with our insecurities as appropriately as we should, some situations will still bring us pain.
Most importantly, if we are not aware of ourselves...as ourselves...if we don't know our ego tendencies...then situations and people, who may remind us of others in our past, will set us off.
By staying aware of ourselves, which some may call being self-centered but I prefer to view as "centered in self," or the Spirit Within, we can help ourselves better understand others, walk silently with him/her when we see their "acting up" and begin to love them...yes...love them...as ourselves.
The good and the bad part of the self is that we are all encapsulated in bodies.
"You are the Temple of God." 1 Corinthians 3:16
That's the first pain we feel.
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| Via Wildlife Nature: Follow on Facebook |
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| Via Wildlife Nature: Follow on Facebook |
We're locked up.
No one can "see us!"
No one can "hear us!"
No one can "feel us!"
At least not the way we see, hear, and feel.
Still with me?
So, we wake up every day going through each moment, meeting different folks along the way...at work...in the grocery store...in the theater...at the shopping mall...on the phone.
They don't know ...we don't know...
What led up to this moment any of us are experiencing.
See...we, they, you, me...we don't have the full history...about us.
We don't know everything about the people we see. We simply see them, their current behavior or personality.
CHARITY IS DIFFERENT FROM COMPASSION; Some people believe that they must travel across the world, looking for strangers to love, people in foreign countries who are less fortunate than themselves upon whom they can heap largesse, thus expanding their ego views of "loving neighbor." This is good. But what about the colleague sitting beside you each day, the person living next door, locked in his/her own prison? We don't have to have an intimate relationship with "these people." But...we can be kind and look upon him/her with the same level of understanding and compassion we do the people we seek to help in a foreign country when we choose to step into that realm of compassion, caring and giving.
We stay safe from those we don't want to understand by hanging out only with those who love us, reinforcing our sense of self, supporting and feeding our "egos" by telling us how wonderful, how successful, how beautiful we are in all we do and say.
Don't misunderstand: we need and should have this reinforcement!
Having family and friends is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. They are our "Fort Knox" to keep us from the pain we may experience in living in the larger world.
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| Via "Happiness in Life" |
"My friends and loved ones are gifts from God. We celebrate when our lives are smooth, easy, and filled with joy. And we stand together in challenging times of loss or disappointment.
Regardless of what is happening in our lives, my loved ones are a blessing. Each moment together is a gift we share...."- Daily Word
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| Algeria. (Image via Gorgeous Picture, follow on Facebook.) |
We work. We travel.
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| Photo via Gorgeous Picture: Follow on Facebook |
Life demands more.
We must change.
We must change the way we view ourselves, first.
Next, we must change the way we view others.
We must do so by seeing the "neighbor"as an extension of ourselves: a Soul, with a full history, trapped in a body trying to make the best of the moment!
(Having recently seen Mariel Hemming profiled on OWN, you may find some useful pointers in her two books: "Running with Nature," and "Running from Crazy."
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| Via Gorgeous Picture: Follow on Facebook |
I also believe these two 2005 releases by Karen Armstrong also should prove useful: "Through The Narrow Gate Revised: A Memoir of Spiritual Discovery" and "Spiral Staircase: My Climb Out of Darkness.")
By choosing to stay conscious of ourselves as a SOUL operating in a body, we also will then stay in the consciousness of our own history...all that was...and is today. This allows us to ease into the present with perspective.
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(Photos: Roatan, Bay Island, Honduras,
via Gorgeous Picture.)
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Eventually, we'll begin to understand and appreciate ourselves so fully that we won't feel anything but gratitude for the unique selves that we are...we'll remember always the journey we've traveled. The obstacles we've overcome.
Envy, jealousy, competition:
those are for others, not for us.
We'll even begin to re-create where we're going tomorrow, as we'll begin to write the script.
Having this consciousness of Self, which is centered in a protection of Ego, hurt by some things, joyous by others, then we get to know and become aware of all that is about us.
We'll understand our dharma (our place in the cosmos). Once we understand our place, then we'll begin to understand our unique life's purpose. There won't be room enough in our lives for us to want to copy...even in the slightest way...others' walk through the world.
Becoming intimate with our own vulnerabilities and strengths not only
empowers us but makes us compassionate with our failures and missteps.**
We move on. We learn to fight another day.
This level of intimacy with self requires much focus. We have to make sure that we are the ones defining ourselves and remembering truthfully our own histories.
It is overall a very painful and humbling process.**
Jesus says it best:
"...how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye." Luke 6:42
After doing this...after staying faithful to this way of living...from the center of self...then out into the world...
can we, then, look upon another with any less care ...any less compassion...any less love?
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| Image: Wildlife Nature. (Follow on Facebook.) |
I invite you to engage in this way of loving.
After all, we all have this "Power of LOVE!"
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| Via Gorgeous Picture. Follow on Facebook |
Namaste',
Che'
NOTES:
*If there are indications of mental instability and you cannot help or get the person help, then for your safety, do walk away!
**In April, we will highlight the "Power of UNDERSTANDING." This will feature understanding of self, as well as others, for the good of all.
*If there are indications of mental instability and you cannot help or get the person help, then for your safety, do walk away!
**In April, we will highlight the "Power of UNDERSTANDING." This will feature understanding of self, as well as others, for the good of all.
