Leo Tolstoy on God

LEO TOLSTOY ON GOD: "When you look inside yourself, you see what is called 'your own self' or your soul. You cannot touch it or see it or understand it, but you know it is there. And this part of yourself--that which you cannot understand--is what is called God. God is both around us and inside of us--in our souls.

The more you understand that you are at one with God, the more you will understand that you are at one with all His worldly manifestations."

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Beyond LIFE: A Postcard To My Sister

EDITOR'S NOTE: R.I.P. Linda XXXXXX-3.27.46 - 10.10.01.  
UPDATE 5/2013:Please note that last name has been removed out from this document to block  search engines.  

Hi Linda:

I'm just dropping by today to say, "hello," and ask you how you doing?

Today, you would have celebrated your 65th year! You certainly would have been having a big party to celebrate today! Soon, too, you would have been planning your retirement from the job you loved doing at the State of Illinois!

I think of you often, but something special begins to happen when March rolls around:

Aside from now being "Women's History Month," March is significant because Mummy died on March 19. (R.I.P. Valda E. XXXXXX: 6.9.16 - 3.19.93.) But even before her death, March was special to us all because it was the month of your birthday, and we would start thinking of getting you a card and a gift and calling you.

So naturally when I was purchasing cards for my March friends' birthdays, I thought of you ...and the void.

I'm sure you can see the void you've left in this place, don't you?

Yes. There is a hole that no one else has been able to fill...and ...no one else ever will fill.

I know that you see now what you didn't know then ...that you'd come to Earth to do a very special job.

There was a hole that only you could fill in God's Grand Design for Planet Earth and the Universe. So when God sent you on March 27, he was thrilled that this piece of his design was being filled!

I hope you can see so clearly now all the things you may not have known when you were here...like how much we all really, truly loved you, though not everyone gave voice to their feelings.

I hope you can see so clearly now that you brought a certain tranquility and JOY to our world. As the fifth child, you were the perfect "middle" child, holding the balance between four above and four below you!


I hope you can see so clearly now that you brought hope on cloudy days... when you picked up the phone and called, just to share a thought or a laugh.

I hope you can see so clearly now the lessons we all learned from you and the many, many memories you've implanted forever in our Souls.

I hope you can see so clearly into our world NOW...

I hope you can see so clearly now the special things I remember about you...

...whenever I look at the cocktail globe you'd so lovingly put together for me when you visited my home...

...whenever I look at the special scroll you gave to each of us five sisters, talking about "Sister Love."...

...whenever I remember the collection of nine dolls you'd so painstakingly collected to represent each one of us children in the family.[Three boys and six girls.]

We remember so much! So much of you is still so alive...

You lived life and gave love...and truly, that is a gift!

You were LOVE!

As I write this, I'm reflecting on the many aspects of you I observed as a child...

I'm looking for signs to see if we could have known you would be the first one to leave us and to discern your specialness even then.

You know, as time passes, I don't think it really matters, "The last shall be first and the first shall be last. Many are called but few are chosen." -Matthew 20:16
[Wonder what this bodes for me being the "last child" of the nine children?]

What I'm learning is that the world is what it is...

We are who we are...
We can't fight that...
We can't fight our destiny...

What I'm learning about the world is that...
We are all special and unique and there's a
special force within us...
This is the force that leads us through life...
that we so often overlook and don't appreciate...
Our EGOs take credit for all its hard work!

I know you know that now!
I know that you knew it just before your death...
when your life took off almost on its own...
and you started sharing things about your life...
as IF you knew...
you would soon be gone...
[But...how could you? You weren't sick...you
were in great health. Then, bam, overnight you
were gone from a heart attack, two days,
after I'd returned from visiting you.]


I somehow believe that "you" called
me to the Chicago area
to share the things you did...maybe your conscious
mind didn't...but your SOUL knew what you didn't,
so it called me.


Do you remember what you shared?


You told me how happy you were with your job...
You reflected on how you used to be as a younger woman,
but then, you said, "Look at me, NOW!"


You were so proud of yourself in that moment! I
laughed with you then, and I'm still laughing now.

I remember the woman-child you tried to be
as a young woman, then how you grew to be this
loving, thoughtful, giving personality.


I know you can tell we miss you terribly in all
your ways
...but I know you can see the smiles
memories of you still bring us!

Your joy of LIFE...that is SO lasting!

I remember at that last dinner... again...as if you knew:

You told those who were present that we should "live each
day as if it is your last!"


Do you remember that?

Why did you tell us that...IF...you didn't know?

I'm looking up now...at the special angel I bought in
memory of you and sewed on her banner, your name: "Linda!"

Yes. I'm looking up at her, where she stands about 18" tall above a cabinet...
wand in hand, always ready to protect me.


I know you see her!

I wonder what you think...

So much in the world has changed in the almost 10 years you've been gone.

Now, there's social media, which have taken over our days.
I wonder if you would have been part of that...?

You so loved your digital camera...I know you would have been
uploading lots and lots of photos to Facebook, as you so loved to share.

So much in the world has changed in the almost 10 years you've been gone.

So much is still the same in the almost 10 years you've been gone.

People still don't recognize the TRUTH about Life.

They don't seem to appreciate how very special they are and that they
were placed on this Earth for a very special reason and for a certain time.


They don't seem to recognize the reflection of themselves in another.

They don't seem to understand that they can hate and fight and worry and all those things...but it doesn't add to or shorten their time...

Are they making the best of their lives?

We'll continue to look and see...

As for you on this special day, sis, I just want to wish you...

Happiness...in the state of beingness that you now are in the Universe...

I know you've moved on ...

I know you probably don't stick around us to see how we're getting through
"all the ups and downs in life..." because I know...that you KNOW...It's all "nonsense"...from where you are in the Universe.

How puny...very, very, very puny...we seem, huh?
As puny as we are, sis, I want you to know that in our world...
in our limited universe here on Earth...

You have become "larger than life!"

Gosh, how I wish, it didn't take your leaving...
for us to know ...and appreciate that!

Happy (Posthumous) 65th Birthday, Linda XXXXXXXXXX: Forever in Our Hearts!

Namaste',

Che'
NOTE: Linda XXXXXXX was the fifth of nine children parented by Ivan XXXXXXXX and Valda E. XXXXX. I was the ninth child. Linda was married, divorced and had no children.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

An email from a friend, posted by Che':

"A very touching blog, Che. Wish she were still here!"

Anonymous said...

Posted from email by Che':
"OH!!! Wow!!!! How Beautiful. What an honor. Vey, very thoughtful, she is surely smiling, just keep the light shining. "

Anonymous said...

From "Kathy's" email:
"Thank you. This one really touched my heart and I only hope that someone will remember me in the same light of kindness and love."

Anonymous said...

From email:

'One of the benefits of my new computer is that I am once again able to access your blog! And this was a most beautiful one!! Thank you!

With love..."

Personal Authenticity: "To Thine Own Self Be True"...

"To Thine Own Self Be True and it must follow as the night, the day, Thou canst not then be false to ANY man."
William Shakespeare.