"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."Albert Camus
Her husband, Ronnie, is still crazy about her after nearly three decades of marriage.
Her kids, Candace and Ronnie, are crazy about her.
(Candace is a 3rd grade schoolteacher; Ronnie is in pilot school.)Her two older sisters, Margrette and Joanne, are crazy about her.
So are all her friends!
I am one of those friends.
Quite simply, this woman, Parthenia Clardy Dixon, is a beautiful person and one of the beautiful people I know!
She is rare.
She simply is one of the most caring, loving and unpretentious individuals I know.
Our friendship was so unlikely.
There I was... a foreign girl with an accent.
There she was ...as American as they come, having been born in Arkansas and growing up in Chicago.
We met during our junior year at the University of Illinois, Chicago, when I transferred there.
All that year it seemed, we were taking the same classes, as we both were studying Speech Communications. We developed a friendship then from those early days. It has lasted to today.
The reason we have remained friends is certainly not because I am a model of patience, love and caring. On the contrary!
For many years during our unlikely friendship, I am sure I was certainly not a good model for any of those things.
The friendship lasted because my friend, Parthenia aka Thenia, is not the type to take offense easily. She is secure in herself, and she fully understands the people in her life to know that if they seem "off," there is a reason. She shows her caring by displaying compassion and love, instead of reacting to any displays she knows are coming from a place of frustation.
She is the first person to say, "I'm sorry," even when she KNOWS she is not in the wrong. But her thinking is: I'm sorry you thought that way... or that was my intention...or about the situation. She certainly does not CREATE conflict, much less engage in it! She's honest...She's straightforward... and ...She's REAL! People KNOW this about her!
Certainly, Thenia is no pushover. She does respond to situations, but she does not allow herself to react with negative emotion. She maintains an even disposition, even in the midst of the most trying circumstances.
To put it mildly, the woman is ABSOLUTELY SANE and in control at all times!
From those early days, she has remained a steady presence in my life.
She has provided consciousness, when I have been operating with unconsciousness.
She has been a sounding board, when I've had doubts.
She has been a source of strength, when I seemed to have none left.
You see very simply, Parthenia Clardy Dixon, has been my best friend.
Throughout the years, no matter where we are, and what we're into, we check in with each other at least once every two weeks, but mostly, once a week. When I'm in the mood to be "silent," she is one of the few people I'd make an exception. She is the friend of my SOUL...the friend of my lifetime ... and truly one in a million!
I was a bridesmaid in her wedding in 1979. But over the years, I moved away from Illinois.
I lived in Connecticut, then California, then Arizona, and now
back in California.
Thenia has been the Midwest friend, and the best friend, who has held me steady through all my ups and downs.
She has celebrated my moments of greatest triumphs and those of my most abject sorrows!
She has been there.
What is amazing is that this friend,Thenia, keeps on keeping on without missing a beat in her belief and faith and positive attitude about all things about me.
She almost never mentions anything from the past: the good, bad or in between. It's like she recalls nothing that happened before today! If she ever mentions the past, it is only to bring up something "good" she remembers and then to say, "this is what you taught me."
She is one of the most conservative persons I know.
Yet, she passes NO judgment...absolutely NONE...on my liberal positions.
She is one of most straigthforward persons I know.
Yet, she does not act surprised at all the complexities of my life!
She is one of the most unpretentious people I know.
Yet, she is one of the most dignified that I know.
She simply is... a beautiful person!
Every time I tell her that she tries to shine the light on ME!
I tell her: "NO, friend, you have been an unwavering center of support. I don't know if I could have been so steadfast for you or anyone else."
But she has no doubts about me...she says, "You, too! Just remember that!"
I simply don't remember anything...any situation...where she's really needed my help or support.
She attends New Faith Baptist Church International of Matteson, Illinois, and sings in the church choir there. She's always had a beautiful singing voice!
She simply lives her life without complications and with dignity and a simplicity that only could have been acquired from a previous lifetime.
She certainly came into this world knowing what she needed to do and how she needed to be!
As a young mother, she knew how to balance her marriage, her career with the state of Illinois, her friendships and her life without ever being overwhelmed.
Even in those times, when both her kids were infants, this is a friend who still was there for you.
I don't know how she managed it. She never missed a beat in being there to offer you support.
She's like that for everyone who knows her.
Her husband, Ronnie, and I are good friends, too.
Naturally, he is one of the nicest guys I know.
But the reason is not that he, like me, does not have the tendencies of imperfection. It simply is that with "Thenia" you want to be a better person, despite life's trials and all the *"personalities" who get on your nerves.
I know we both feel very lucky.
Ronnie and I say this all the time.
Now that her kids are grown, whenever I have the occasion to speak with them, they say that too.
Of course, Margrette and Joanne and I are friends, too. So, we say this, too, whenever we get together.
We're all very lucky.
You see we have a friend...a person...in our midst...who is a rare jewel.
She is Parthenia Clardy Dixon.
Her birthday is March 30, tomorrow: Happy Birthday, friend!
"Over all the years, through all my fears and tears, you have proven to be my friend of a Lifetime and one of the most beautiful people I've had the privilege to know!
May God grant the world DECADES more of your Presence! Thank you for your friendship!"
Namaste',
Che'
*NOTE: See more on "personalities" upcoming blog, April 5, 2009!
1 comment:
"Your piece on Parthenia was especially good. It showed that she is indeed a beautiful person!" A quote from an e-mail!
Of course, I TOTALLY, agree! That PERSONALITY is one in a million! She obviously operates totally from the center.
Che'
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