The Question of Equality: "To Be, or, Not To Be."

I will be celebrating Martin Luther King, Jr. [MLK] Day tomorrow, along with millions of others. The celebration for me will not be in doing the parades, the "freedom" train rides nor participating in the many other events that now mark the day.

I will be still.
I will think back.
I will remember.

I will know that I woke up on this day, January 16, free to choose to work, or not to work on that day.

I will celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr. and the legacy of his life on earth, which now benefits each and every African-American today and those for generations to come.

Some African-Americans, who have the choice to stay home, still will go to work as normal on January 16. That's not because they don't honor Dr. King and his legacy, but because they do not see the relevancy to their lives today.

Let me pause, albeit presumptuously, to share that relevance.

As African Americans we would not have a choice to stay home nor to go to work, were it not for the courage and boldness and demands made by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and all the men and women who fought valiantly with him in the 1960s.

Indeed, some 50 years later, we still would be handcuffed mentally to our desks, or lost in factories somewhere, were it not for the lives that were lost in many struggles to celebrate the freedom we all now enjoy just "to be."

"To Be, Or Not To Be that is the question," asks William Shakepeare in Act 3, Scene 1, of Hamlet.

"Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks
That flesh is heir to?"

Shakespeare was writing of love.

I'm writing of LIFE.

"Light, Life and Love" these are the three keys to our "beingness:"

To be a light into life by demonstrating and being "LOVE."

That is what MLK, Jr. gave and did for us all as African Americans.

I am convinced that there is a "Jesus" being born and dying for us all each day, though we do not know it.

If there is a "second coming," it is the "coming to" of our realization of what lies within us to do and be like "Jesus" in our walk in the world.

MLK, Jr. certainly manifested "Jesus-like" traits by choosing to live for the vast world of African-Americans and the down-trodded vs. only for his family and himself.

I am convinced that, as we grow in consciousness, the task for us is not to see ourselves in the world but to see the world in ourselves.


We are being called upon to look at each child as our own...each person who is a mother/father as our own relative...as our sisters and brothers all. We are called upon to treat each other as "family."

This is the task of "beingness" in the world and our ultimate challenge: to be more like the example "Jesus" demonstrated, even as we honor our unique selves!

"God will not judge Akiba for not being Moses, God will judge Akiba for not being Akiba."-From The Talmud

We are each a "Jesus" in some way to others when we choose "to be" a source of inspiration [read "light"] to others through the demonstration of our lives given in love to others.

Every day I wake, I'm not thinking of being "Jesus" in an active way.

I simply am thinking of being the best I can be in that moment...in that day... that would benefit my life and those of others.

Trust me...some days, it is all about "me." That's okay.

I know that on some days, that's all I'm required " to be."

Just to be "me" ...to show up and "be" the Presence I'm called to "be,"in whatever world I happen to be interacting in that day.

Just "to be" that Presence.

For some, this is a daunting task.

So many try "to be," what they are not called "to be," in any given moment and time.

They try so hard to emulate and imitate others. They try so hard to "hide out," in their public selves the images they have chosen to give themselves. This is when folks end up getting angry, being jealous, petty and mean to each other. We wind up fearing that " our good" is being taken from us and this is the real reason we separate ourselves from others.

"To Be," or "Not To Be" that is the question.

The question really means to be of yourself in any given moment.

To Be.

To be what you're called to be in the moment: strong, weak, loving, challenging, bold, humble, sincere, friendly, courageous, feisty?

"To be or not to be, that is the question."

I have a beautiful piece on my bedroom wall, right opposite my bed, that I've owned for many years. I gaze upon it each day.

When I purchased it many years ago, I did not have the consciousness to see it as anything but an attractive piece.
Today, it is "The Spoked Wheel."

"Imagine that each of us is a spoke in an Infinite Wheel, and, though each spoke is essential in keeping the Wheel whole, no two spokes are the same. The rim of the Wheel is our living sense of community, family, and relationship, but the common hub where all the spokes join is the one center where all souls meet. So, as I move out into the world, I live out my uniqueness, but when I dare to look into my core, I come upon the one common center where all lives begin. In that center, we are one and the same. In that way, we live out the paradox of being both unique and the same."
-Mark Nepo, Book of Awakening, January 6.

Each of us, no matter how "small" we feel in the general scheme of things...
No matter how "tiny" others try to make us feel in that "smallness"...need to realize that in their view of their vastness...others, too... ...only are..."tiny spokes"...in a giant wheel.

It is all in how, and who, we choose
to "to be or not to be" in the moment.

"Tiny, small, big, bold?"

Why has Martin Luther King, Jr.'s legacy lived on through the years?

"Heaven and earth are eternal. They are eternal because they do not exist for themselves. In the same way, a truly holy person does not live for himself, and therefore he can become eternal and can achieve anything."
- Lao-Tzu

Did he fight for equality, or the right for each and every one of us, simply,
"to be?"

Are we equal, or allowed "to be or not to be?"

Think on these things on January 16.

Namaste',
Che'

Will Your "Balloon" Rise or FALL in 2012?

It's a new year. It's a new you.
Really?

Think again.

Getting ready for the new year, one of my
roommates and I took a few minutes out of our busy
New Year's Eve activities to send up Chinese wishing lanterns,(for our purposes, "balloons.") into the sky. The balloons are supposed to release your wishes into the universe.

It seemed like a simple exercise. Open
the balloon and attach the candle, which, once
lit, causes the balloon to rise, as far as the eye can see.

Great stuff. We were looking forward.

My roommate went first. I could tell she was
pouring her heart and soul into making the wish (es)
she wanted so badly to come true.

The lit candle was securely attached to the balloon.
We tried to "fly it" as a kite, based on the instructions. Nothing.

With all the twisting and turning, the candle
fell apart from the balloon, burning on the ground
until I finally flattened it with my shoe.

Then, I lit mine.

My "wish" was not really a wish. It was
a silent prayer, mostly of gratitude.

I released my balloon. It hesitated, then began to
circle around the backyard, until it started its
slow ascent into the sky.

It was a beautiful thing to behold, seeing that balloon become only a blaze of fire in the late afternoon light.

Wow.

Wow, I thought again. It's all about the consciousness we take to any project, task or activity, isn't it?

Even before lighting the candle, my roommate had
trepidations about her "wish" coming true and her
balloon rising. Without a doubt, the universe
delivered what she expected.

Later, as I was settling into preparations for
New Year's Eve celebration, I glanced at my
iPhone and saw a message from a very close friend
in the Metro Chicago area.

The headline alone told the tale. It was just a person's name, but I immediately knew the
truth.

Quickly opening the note about the death of a mutual long-time
friend, my response surprised even me.

"She finally is at peace. She finally did it."

I felt no sadness. I felt nothing but the stark realization that this person, with whom both Christine and I had been so close in our "growing up" years, was dead.

It always used to be three of us: Christine, *Dotty and I.

We laughed together and shared all our dreams, hopes and desires and
encouraged each other, as we bicycled back and forth to each others'
homes in Maywood, Illinois.

We three were friends, even before we got our Illinois driver's license.



None of us doubted that our dreams would come true: Chris wanted to be a pharmacist, and she is today; Dotty wanted to be a television journalist, and she was and a very successful one for many years. Then there was me, who wanted... whatever I wanted. Here, I am today.

Over the years, as Dotty and I moved to different parts of the country to pursue our dreams, we would all three meet back
in the Chicago area for holidays. Chris is the only one who never moved away.

A curious thing began to happen, though, with Dotty as the years progressed.

She began to retreat more and more into herself, constantly comparing herself
to others. Indeed, at one time she worked directly with Oprah Winfrey, yes, "The Oprah," and had less than kinds words to say about Oprah during that time.


All her comments about this now very famous, very seemingly loving woman, had nothing to do with Oprah as a person. Dotty simply felt Oprah was taking up space at the station that she believed belonged to her!

And so it went with situation after situation.

Each and every time someone succeeded or superseded our friend, Dotty, she retreated more and more in anger and resentment.

She began to lose weight, because suddenly she began to consider herself "fat" in her perfect size 8-10 body.

Dotty began to shrink and shrink and shrink.

The last time I saw her, about two decades ago, she had dwindled down to nothing.

She also had become "nothing," with her "shrinking self," and error thoughts.

But we all, who were then her friends, knew no person or thing could save Dotty but Dotty herself.

We all grew sad and silent, watching our friend disintegrate into nothingness.

She tried to find God. Perhaps she did, as she got deeply involved in a very traditional religion.

We heard spurts of joyfulness within her. The beautiful and powerful voice she

always had did not fade. Over the phone, in the occasional phone calls, we still could wish and "imagine" our friend Dotty was "alive."

As she retreated and disappeared fully from our lives, we simply stopped seeking her out, stopped talking about her or even, truthfully, caring about her.


She had taken turns to find a way to make each of us not want to be in touch with her any more.

Our friend, **Dotty Wray, died sometime last week, just after Christmas.


The message of her death began to filter through her former network of friends yesterday.

Shock waves.

No.

No one seemed surprise.

We all knew our friend had died many years before she actually stopped breathing.

You see, we knew that she had chosen a slow death when she first began to choose anger, resentment and hostility against others as a way of life.

By the time she got "religion," and tried to change her "stinking thinking," she was too far gone and began to project her behavior onto us, stating that we make ourselves unavailable to her.

My friend, Dotty, had died many years ago. She simply was holding on, breathing, hoping that by magic her dreams of seizing control of the world would come true.

You see, what I know, is that my friend, Dotty, began to want too much of what belonged to everybody else by right of their consciousness. She simply refused to get deep into herself to discern what it was that she really, truly wanted out of life. All her aspirations were about seeing them play out in a "big" way for everyone else to see.

She began to want what you and I and anyone else had that she did not. Even as she became increasingly "invisible" to herself and her friends, she had goals that would make her even more visible to the larger world.

She began to want everything that was not herself...the beautiful self that we once knew as Dotty.

Even as she moved to a rural state to try to find peace, Dotty took "herself" there. The anger, hostility and resentment were with her as she tried to start a new life.

She lived in this rural state for more than 20 years, but she never found the peace that she sought.

Not even in the tranquility of hot springs and mud baths.

Why?

Dotty took "herself" there.

R.I.P. Dotty Wray! Your "balloon" has risen now!

I don't need to know much more of what "illness" finally took her life. What I know is that whatever she was finally diagnosed with in the last years of her life, Dotty already had signed a warrant to pay it in full.


Is your balloon going to rise or fall in 2012?

It's ALL about the "consciousness" you keep.

Happy 2012!


Please enjoy this New Year prayer, in its unedited version, prepared by Rev. Cecilia Loving of Spiritmuv, (http://spiritmuv.com), New York City:

"This is what I wish for you: more happiness than you can contain, more joy than you can imagine, more goodness than you have room for, more prosperity than you can bank, more health than you can heal with, more light than you can shine, more wisdom than you can tap into, more ideas than you can express, more gratitude than you can thank, more angels than you can smile at, more miracles than you can keep track of, more generosity than you can spend, more money than Oprah, more hallelujahs than Jesus, more moments of realizing that you are one with a universe that is moving and grooving as God.

And so it is, so let it be."

Namaste',

Che'

NOTE: *My roommate gave permission to use her story.
**Dotty Wray is a pseudonym.

The True Gift of The Season: The Way You Make Them FEEL!

Arising at my normal pre-dawn hour, I crept into the kitchen to make my usual cup of hot chocolate.

There was the stack.

The stack!




All I could do was break down in uncontrollable giggles.

Givers UNITE!

This is your time and your season!

Without a doubt, you have a right to celebrate. This is your time... to give... in abundance without shame!

After I'd stopped giggling, I sifted through the stack of sales papers that were piled high by someone in my household, getting ready for "the kill."




As I took the stack back to bed to continue to rifle through them, I laughed out loud at some of the items I saw on display at a popular international market:

-3-piece ceramic elephant tea set, displayed in red, but "also available in blue."
-Santa pants filled with Yogurt-covered pretzels
-Alaina bird cage picture holder
-Magnetic dartboard



On and on in the flyer was the display of gaudy jewelry and other unique gifts for under $20.

Why do we do what we do at Christmas time?

Why do we suspend reality and buy things that no one needs, much less wants, during this season of giving.

We want to give people...something...
We want to let them know that we care.
We want to let them know that they are special to us, not only at Christmas but all through the year.


That's truly the reason for giving gifts at Christmas time.
We need to let people know they matter.

So, regardless of how ugly or gaudy the gift in the package, I always feel blessed...in the moment.


That's all that truly matters.

How do you feel in the moment?

Just as much as it's the Season of Giving, it also can be the Season of Discontent.


In some households this Christmas, there will be items thrown against walls...some hurled back in people's faces...glass items deliberately thrown on the floor and broken...items left untouched, as if diseased, once the packages are opened.


These are all responses from disappointed folks about what they got from their spouses, partners and loved ones.

Disappointed folks aside, can we put some reason into the holiday season?

Can we suspend our judgment about the items we receive and simply stay in the moment of joy, absorbing the fact...the fact...that someone thought of us as they were racing through the busyness of their day. Imagine this...

A full day of shopping, then remembering the one person we'd forgotten to include in the gift buying.

Turning back, as tired as he/she might be, to pick up an item...yes, agreeably an ugly item...so you won't be left out in the cold.


Imagine that weary soul.

Say "thank you," for that moment of remembering.

Years ago, I used to be challenged at Christmas time just as many people are today. But I eventually discovered a unique way to celebrate the holidays... almost every day of the year.

Yes. I am a "giver addict," as are most of the people with whom I share my life.


Yes. We're addicted to giving.

We don't try. That's simply who we are on autopilot.

So, in any given day, I walk into surprises and generosity of spirit all around me.

The thing is this spirit, like all energy, moves in a circular motion.


So, what do I do? When I walk into a surprise or a taste of love, I simply continue the circle of giving, letting it flow on to others.

I've discovered that it doesn't matter if it's an item you give, or a word of truth. People respond to that. The gift is in caring enough to share a kindness or thoughtful comment.



Each week I interact with scores of people whom I know "for sure" don't care as much about what I'm telling them, as much as how I make them feel!

Yes, of course they pay attention to what I'm saying. But at the end of the day...at the end of the conversation...the thing that remains with that man or woman, albeit a stranger, long after I've shared the information is the way I've made them FEEL!

I've been witness to a compliment turning a sour person into the gentlest of souls.

I've seen a "I truly understand and respect your position" turn an argumentative spirit into an ally.

How do you make them FEEL?That is the ultimate question.




Do you validate their position? Do you validate them as a person? Do you let them know that they matter, despite having a difference of opinions?

How do you make them feel?

Before the holiday season begins, I spend time thinking of the people in my path who I want to "gift" for the holidays. I think about the imprint they have left on my Soul, and what it is I want to communicate back to them with the gift I give.

How do they make me feel?
How do I want to make them to feel?


I'd like to think that everyone who crosses my path in any given day is special to me and the universe: this is the "namaste'" attitude I support and endorse.

As we all know, the reality is different.

No matter how much we try, there are some folks who will always make us feel
less than whole.

Quickly dismiss them.

Focus on the ones who leave an impression of "goodness" ...of love...of generosity of spirit...of joy.

Think about that spirit inside that personality as you select a Christmas gift for him/her.

What is it you think he/she most needs communicated from you?

Ultimately, that's how you should decide what to give.

It shouldn't be the cost of the item (s).


It simply should and ought to be: How do you want to make them FEEL?

How do YOU want to make them FEEL?

Can you get a handle on that this Christmas?

Yep. Just ignore the stack of sales papers with the magnetic dartboards and "women's and men's gift-boxed jelly watches."

Get into each of their souls.

If you do so, each and every time, you'll be led to give the perfect gift.

Trust me on this.

What is it that you want to make them FEEL?


Namaste',

Che'