Blinded by His Goodness, We Cannot See... Struck by His Mercy, We Cannot Hear: More on Consciousness or Lack Thereof!

My faith was in a penny. Literally.

Then, I lost the penny. My world almost fell apart.

This is the truth!

Now, this was NOT an ordinary penny. It was about the size of 4 combined silver dollars.

It was copper, and it was aging so beautifully over the years.

I loved that penny!

It was my friend.

When I had no other hope to cling to, I had my penny...my faithful friend.
This penny had been with me since 1995: 13 years!

(Now let’s leave the significance of the "13" years for another blog!)

In those 13 years, I had been through battles and storms I never, ever, dreamed could happen in my lifetime. Happen they did.

But I had my penny.

Oh, yes. It was my hope and glory.

Initially, I was as distressed about losing the penny as I was about the keys, both my house and car keys that were attached to the penny. But then, I promptly was able to replace both of those, but not my penny.

So, I had a huge dilemma.

How would things be NOW without my penny? Could I really, really make it through any more “storms” without my penny?

I really wasn’t sure.

It’s laughable now. Yes, I want to laugh without ceasing...It now seems so ridiculous!

But until I had an awakening in consciousness, I tell you I was not laughing about losing my penny!

Consciousness started to come forward during the gratitude routine I do at the gym, with each rotation. But I still did NOT get it...until I saw another person put her keys down on the mat, as she worked out.

“Be careful you don’t lose those,” I said to my gym colleague, pointing to her keys.

I warned her that I’d done exactly that at the post office, where I’d planned to make a brief stop, and I became so intent on taking care of my business that I’d walked away from the counter, leaving my keys. (Talk about the ABSENCE of Present Moment awareness!!!)

When I returned to where I’d filled out the form just a short while later to recover the keys, they were gone.

“Why would someone want my keys?” I asked her. She agreed, and we talked about how “weird” people were in this world.

Then she said, “What was even weirder for me is that someone went into our mail box at home and stole our checks. Within a few days, they’d gone to Vegas and written a slew of checks all over the place. It took us a while to get things straightened out, but we did.”

In essence, she and her husband were able to show they’d never gotten the checks, the signatures were not theirs, and thus they were not liable.

Wow! And here I was complaining about losing my penny.

As I moved on to other machines, I began thinking about my gym colleague and what she’d had to go through. I felt so-o grateful in comparison.

My gratitude began to swell...machine by machine...as I said “thank you,” after each rotation.

Then, it became so clear to me!

How many, many times in the 13 years, I’d been “rescued” from seemingly hopeless situations?

How many times, I was “carried” by an unseen hand to safety?

How many times....?

How had I gotten from those times to this time in my life i.e. this MOMENT...this PRESENT moment?

How?

The penny did not carry me. That I KNOW for sure. It had NO WORTH, being a souvenir. Even if it did...it still was worth...ONLY A PENNY!

So, how did I get here from there?

I became so conscious of God’s movement in and as my life throughout those 13 years that I felt such ABSOLUTE AND TOTAL ....SHAME!

I spent the rest of my workout, feeling shame...but mostly after that, expressing total and absolute GRATITUDE!!!

Over those 13 years, my full focus always was on the ONE goal... ONE method... ONE way... I expected my prayers to be answered. When they were not, then...to me...God had been silent. I could not appreciate the fact that he had my best interests at heart and truly knew my needs better than I. As I look back, I’m so grateful that so many of those prayers seemingly went unanswered.

“My way or NO way,” was my view, it seemed.

In that day of consciousness at the gym what I began to see were.... all my answered prayers, all the “unspeakable” acts God had undertaken on my behalf, all the “impossible” dreams he’d fulfilled, all the “things” he’d restored, all the love he had given me. All the “legitimate” prayers and requests that were answered ...then flooded into my memory.

Why was I so blinded that I could not see?***

Why was I so dumb that I could not hear?***

Over the years... I was so blinded by his goodness, so moved and struck by his love that I could not see or hear!

“God in your mercy, you HAVE HEARD OUR PRAYER!”

Can you see this in your own life?

Can you see the mercy, the goodness, the love that you also have received in your life?

Moment by moment, day by day, step by step...all our prayers get answered.

But where is our consciousness when they are?

By then, we’ve moved on to the next problem to be solved...the next "thing" to worry about ... the next hurdle to jump over. We were so busy moving on that we did not even pause long enough to become aware that God truly saw us through THAT MOMENT...THE NOW...when our prayers are answered.

As I logged on today to start this blog, there was an e-mail message waiting for me from Gratefulness.org:

"Happiness is not what makes us grateful.
It is gratefulness that makes us happy."
David Steindl-Rast, A Listening Heart

Namaste’

Che’
*Hear now this, O foolish people, and without understanding; which have eyes, and see not; which have ears, and hear not: Jeremiah 5:21