Leo Tolstoy on God

LEO TOLSTOY ON GOD: "When you look inside yourself, you see what is called 'your own self' or your soul. You cannot touch it or see it or understand it, but you know it is there. And this part of yourself--that which you cannot understand--is what is called God. God is both around us and inside of us--in our souls.

The more you understand that you are at one with God, the more you will understand that you are at one with all His worldly manifestations."

Thursday, January 1, 2009

"The Year 2008 In Review: The Lessons We Should Have Learned!"

"We may forget with whom we laughed, but not with whom we shared tears."

Tansanian proverb

So begins my very sober New Year's Day 2009!

I dedicate this blog to all the people, to all my many friends, with whom I shared tears last year and especially those who responded. I also dedicate this to those who showed me the stuff of which they are truly made, especially those I had held close to my heart through most of my life. This includes family members and friends.

In 2003, I chronicled "Portrait of a Life: On the Road to Becoming." The first lines in the book were: "Life is a series of Lessons. That's all. No matter what we do or become in life, no matter how many triumphs or failures we experience, life is about the learning and uncovering of our true selves and about...just becoming."

At that time, I thought I'd learned most of life's serious lessons, though I knew I still was becoming what I needed to become.

Well, in 2008, I became ALL that I had set out to become: I became compassionate, loving, forgiving, caring, feeling, and truly ONE with the source of my being. I fully blame Michael Beckwith, Spiritual Leader of Agape, for all this. That's because the three days prior to bringing in 2008, Michael had led about 300 of us in meditation and celebration of our Spirit. We'd attended a "Meditation Retreat" in Rancho Palo Verde, California. The hours leading up to the New Year, we all were fully pumped to begin 2008 with a renewed outlook and Spirit.

Well I did that and more!

The year 2008 will go down in my life as The YEAR I finally grew UP!

With Spirit as my guide, I saw my life unfold in a way that was ALIEN to me.

I seemingly had absolutely NO control of the events that unfolded. I simply, day by day, responded to the "happenings" of that day.

I saw "Golden" opportunities for which I was perfectly suited slip through my fingers, not because of anything I'd done or failed to do, but simply because that is the way life is sometimes...seemingly unfair!

Why was my life partner SILENT? Why was my life partner NOT stepping in!?

He wanted me to learn the TRUTH about me!
He wanted me to learn the TRUTH about LIFE!
He wanted me to learn the TRUTH about people, places and "things," especially THINGS!


Yes, day by day, God would wake up with me at the crack of dawn and he helped me plan my day. We would do what we had to do and throughout the day, whenever I'd checked in with him, I KNEW he was still there. But as challenges mounted with the growing days, knowing he was still PRESENT with me, I asked him: "How Can YOU...BE SO BLIND? DON'T YOU SEE WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH?"

Sometimes, I'd hear his faint whisper, "Yes. I see what youre GROWING THROUGH!"

I could not believe this was my God! So seemingly cold, so unfeeling, so DETACHED!

My soul ACHED. Yet I felt his arms! Those were the moments I felt truly protected...the times when my soul ached the most!

I did not think I could go on as month after month the challenges grew...my old confident self fading with each passing day.

What WILL become of ME, I wondered?

I heard him ...

smile.

I felt him...SMILE.

If I could ...I would have struck back.

But...

I needed him...even more.

We grew closer, oh so much closer, as my old faded garments fell away.

I woke up today to a brand NEW YEAR...a brand NEW DAY...a brand NEW SELF.

Nothing has changed on the outer. But EVERYTHING has changed in the INNER, if you could SEE AND KNOW what I KNOW!

I know the Life lessons that I learned in 2008...God could have found no other way to teach me.

It is about living modestly throughout the most properous times.
It is about looking around ALWAYS to see the least among you who needs help.
It is about feeling LOVE despite your disappointments, anger and pain.
It is about feeling compassion, when you're rather not SEE!
It is about standing up and believing in something, mostly your FAMILY AND FRIENDS!
It is about living with your simplicity and TRUTH, even when the world wants you to live with EXCESS!
It is about knowing the God of the Universe, but letting your God Self be the master!
It is about honoring ALL the gifts you have been given!
It is about being GRATEFUL for all that you have, not about what you lack!
It is ALL about being HUMAN and SPIRITUAL AND REAL!


There were people who stood up for me when they had ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO DO SO, other than they were Human and Spiritual and REAL!

These are the people God wanted me to KNOW about, those with whom I'd shared my tears.

Yes. I will remember those with whom I laughed, too.

But with 2008 as my guide, God knows, I can NEVER, EVER GO BACK!

By sharing my story, my prayer for all of you is that God does not have to BREAK you so badly in order to MAKE YOU...so Human...so Spiritual...so REAL!

The best gift you can give to yourself...and to God...is to listen to his Spirit, seek his guidance, even BEFORE you have the need!

The year 2008: The worst of times. The best of times!

Namaste',

Che'

3 comments:

Unknown said...

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH. IN ALL THAT IS SAID AND DONE, I MUST SAY THAT 2008 WAS A GOOD YEAR. IT WASN'T THE WORST YEAR OF MY LIFE; THAT WOULD BE 1998. BUT IT WAS A YEAR OF GROWING AS WELL. THANK YOU FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP, CHE. YOU NEVER PUT YOURSELF ABOVE ME, YOU ALWAYS GIVE ME ENCOURAGEMENT AND LAUGHTER AND REMIND ME THAT WHAT I NEED TO LEARN I AM LEARNING, AND I READ THE BOOKS I NEED AND HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED, FOR NOW. THE POWER IS IN THE NOW. I AM AWAKENING TO MY LIFE'S PURPOSE, AND YOU HAVE HELPED. KAT

Anonymous said...

2009 will be an adventure for all of us. Thanks for sharing where you are beginning. I look forward to seeing what Spirit unfolds for all of us AND for our nation. I have a sense we are all growing up in consciousness.

Anonymous said...

COMMENT POSTED FROM E-MAIL...

Happy 2009 Che'

Thank you for your wonderful musings. I truly enjoyed reading them. I read and identify with much of it. I especially ponder the question of what if, life is just an illusion? Sometimes it does feel like a dream, sometimes the dream feels like a nightmare. I am given lately to declare "it's all good". and I know that it is. Still I struggle with the pains of the past, the unknown, which is everything now. I love the lessons we should have learned, because once you think you have it all down, there comes something new to embrace.
NAME WITHHELD

Personal Authenticity: "To Thine Own Self Be True"...

"To Thine Own Self Be True and it must follow as the night, the day, Thou canst not then be false to ANY man."
William Shakespeare.